5 Things I Learned in the ER Last Week:

1. The Apple Health app won’t capture how far you pace if you don’t leave your room as your GPS location doesn’t change.

2. CT scan tubes could be a smidge bigger.

3. Orderlies don’t get enough respect, they’re awesome.

4. The ER is no place for an Empath.

5. Try not to get hit by 4Runners being driven by dipshits.

BONUS: Try not to sneeze when you have bruised ribs. 😵‍💫🥴

(I’m mostly fine, it turns out. Just gonna be damn sore for a while.)